Mean Girls. The Parent Trap. Freaky Friday. What do all of these films have in common? A competent Lindsay Lohan. Of course, in recent years, Lohan has gone from disgraced Disney starlet to reformed and innovative influencer. But no matter how many episodes of Lindsay Lohan’s Beach Club we stomach, the fans know one thing.
Lindsay is not the driver the movies paint her as.
Take the infamous and actually underrated remake of Disney’s original cars IP, Herbie the Lovebug in Herbie: Fully Loaded. Do you think that she was really driving the same vehicle that split in half way back in the 20th century, without breaking even a pinky nail? Heck no! She must’ve been more afraid of starring across Justin Long than to take the wheel of an animatronic wheeler!
For the wild and unpredictable 1963 Volkswagen Beetle that Herbie was, Lohan made it seem like she knew exactly how to handle that animated model (no pun intended.)
However, we can see, thanks to the archives of paparazzi, that she was anything but a punch buggy, if not punch-drunk.So what is it exactly that we can take a page from, regarding Lindsay Lohan?
Call Paris. Call Britney. Hell, call Herbie himself. But don’t Call Lindsay to drive Lindsay around.
Let’s face it. We all need our mother figures. And they all need their Lindsay Lohans. So if logic proves me correctly – and I usually am so sick with my logic skills, that I’m considered the most “illogical” guy around – I would say that we all have a little bit of the red-haired, don’t care, smokey stared qualities that America’s former sweetheart of the 2000s so immediately portrays whenever we don’t think about Glen Coco.
I would not mind driving Miss Crazy around if it meant taking her out on a beautiful road trip through the French Riviera, the Pacific Coast Highway or even, the frozen foods aisle at Walmart.
So, if nothing else, enjoy the fact that we all can learn from Lindsay Lohan. All of us, including Lindsay Lohan, as she enjoys intentionally destroying a car with funnyman Billy Eichner.
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